My Story: The Battle Begins-Divorce and My Son’s Addiction Ignited…

My children’s father and I divorced when Chris was 13 and my daughter, Sara was 15. They stayed living with their dad since this was the house they grew up in and felt most comfortable. I lived in an apartment nearby. Within a year their dad remarried and moved the stepmother into the home. Could our divorce have affected my son’s addiction issues?

Between the ages of 13 and 17 my son seemed infatuated with cigarettes and pretending to smoke marijuana and becoming interested in a girl or friends that seemed troubled themselves. Looking back his low self esteem must have been the reason he chose to hang with friends that he felt he could relate.

I remember having many upsetting moments trying to guide him, but it seemed he was not within my reach as a mom. He was becoming lost and I could not seem to reel him back in.

I wondered if our divorce caused his problems.

Although, when I ask him years later, he does not think our divorce triggered anything with his addiction. I’m still not sure if this divorced situation affected my son’s addiction to drugs or not. But let’s say it did not help. I do know, my son’s poor choices and experimenting deepened when he decided to move out of his father’s house at the age of 17.

Chris moved in with a “friend” and his friend’s family against my blessing. His father and I had mixed opinions about this decision. I wanted to get Chris professional help and tried to convince him to stay at home but his father felt Chris was old enough to make that choice to move out and he told him if he left home he was not allowed to come back. He held true to his word.

His father and I never seemed to be on the same page on how to handle my son’s issues which caused greater distance and tension between us and I felt I was alone in this battle.

My son’s path to addiction ignited at the age of 17 when he moved out and in with his friend. He began blatantly smoking cigarettes and marijuana, which eventually led to pill popping and eventually heroin.

So, don’t let them tell you marijuana is not a “gateway” drug—because it can be. 

In the early beginnings of this addiction journey… I tried to handle this “problem” in my own flesh.

Don’t get me wrong, I did pray often, I had a great love for God, but I wasn’t spiritually prepared; my intimate relationship with Jesus was very infantile at this point. I relied on people and my own flesh to get me though my earliest, roughest days of this battle with addiction.

Thankfully, God grew me up and my need deepened for Him as years went on…

Jesus opened my spiritual eyes and mind as I deepened my faith and trust in Him…

Colossians 2:7 (NLT)—Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

So, what are your thoughts?

Does divorce create an opportunity for addiction with children?

I believe it does. I believe Satan used this wedge between his father and I to create an opportunity for Chris to continue his path to addiction.

According to an article written for Colin Family Mediation Group: How Divorce or Separation Can Influence Teen Drug Abuse. Addiction and divorce are linked to drug abuse and states parents need to come together to help their child out of the situation. It’s a great article I recommend reading.

My feelings are the greatest battles with your children can be overcome with both parents on the same page, but God must be the head and center of everything.

So, if you have a spouse that thinks like you do, and you have a God centered relationship—half the battle is already won.

Because of our parental division with my son and his continuous poor choices I sensed this was going to be the beginning of many heartaches and many poor choices for my son…

I would love to know your thoughts about your views on divorce and children with addiction issues…Please share your thoughts below…